“Great minds talk about concepts.
Average minds talk about events.
Simple minds talk about people.”

—Anonymous

“Science without religion is lame;
religion without science is blind.”

—Albert Einstein

“I too once thought when proved wrong that I lost somehow and
I too once thought life was cruel and
it’s a cycle really you think
I’m withdrawing and guilt-tripping you
I think you’re insensitive and I don’t feel heard
and I said do you believe we are
fundamentally judgemental
fundamentally evil you said yes
I said I don’t believe in revenge
in right or wrong
good or bad you said well what about the man that I saw handcuffed
in the emergency room bleeding after beating his kid and she threw a shoe at his head
and I think what he did was wrong
and I would’ve had a hard time feeling compassion for him
I had to watch my tone for fear of
Having you Feel judged.”

—Alanis Morissette, ‘I Was Hoping’

And Now for More Lighthearted Quotes

“If you come to a fork in the road, take it.”

—Yogi Berra
(This quote is really deeper than it sounds.)

“Opinions are like assholes. Everybody has one.”

—Anonymous

“You can’t spell ‘funeral’ without ‘fun’!”

—Me
(I wouldn’t normally quote myself,
but Lila suggested I should quote this.)

“Your talk of a peaceful, penis filled world turns me on.”

—Alex (Kendra’s Alex)

“You can’t spell ‘pride’ without ‘pie’!”

—Paul

Friends in Their Finer Moments

“My picture looks like I fell out of an ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.”

—Brandie, on her school picture

I walk into the room and say to Alex,
“Alex, the bathroom smells like someone died in there!”
to which Alex replies, “I dealt with it!”

Lila’s mother walks into her room, shocked, and asks, “Is that a naked girl in your bed?!”
to which Lila replies, “Uh … uh … I don’t know …?”

“It’s just like whacking off … only different.”

—Jeff Lopez, on the topic of sex